Inspiring quotes

As editor of a newsletter for a self-help support group I am always on the lookout for inspirational quotes. Apart from being space fillers, a good quotation can help to provide inspiration and motivation.

Dozens of websites serve as a source for quotes - inspirational or otherwise. Identifying those that are truly inspiring, that have some real substance and the many thousands of kitsch, corny and saccharine-filled quotes is my major problem. For every gem there are a hundred - perhaps a thousand - duds.

My favourite quote comes from quite an ancient source - the Talmud (Pirkei Avot 1:14). Written by Hillel. The translation from the Hebrew reads as follows:

"If I am not for myself, who will be?
If I am only for myself, what am I?
And if not now, when?"

Written about 2000 years ago, it encompases great wisdom about ourselves, our relationship to others and the necessity to act. The last line provides the impetus. Do it now! Driving recently on the highway I noticed a billboard advertising Johnny Walker Black Label. This happens to be one of my favourite Scotch Whiskies. I was surprised to see the words "If you are not for you, who will be for you? and if not now when?" Our favourite quotes turn up in the most unexpected places!

Now in his 90th year, Nelson Mandela continues to provide hope and inspiration around the world. One of the few great leaders of our time, his life itself is an inspiration. How many people survive 23 years of imprisonment with such dignity? How many become President yet retain such humility? Having had the pleasure of meeting him I can say that he is one of the few Gentlemen of this world. He treats every person with respect. In his 1994 book "Long Road to Freedom" he wrote:

"I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can rest only for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended."

If that does not inspire, what will?

Of course Sir Winston Churchill is always a great source of quotes - not all inspirational! On this very subject he had this to say:

"It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations." Perhaps then he can make himself appear educated.

On success he comments:

"Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm."

A fact that is borne out by many successful people! How many give up after one failure?

Churchill is of course remembered most for his war-time speeches. Speeches that resounded throughout the free world in hours of great darkness. Millions listened to their radios for words of encouragement and inspiration. Words that helped to Allies to win the war against the forces of darkness.

"We shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and the oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender."

I'll end with the words of one of the top management gurus - Peter Druker. "There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all." Makes you think.

Dealing with death

The death of someone close is one of the most traumatic experiences that we all have to face at some time in our lives. Often the response is not entirely appropriate. Friends try to offer comfort. Some take tranquilizers and try to continue with life "as normal". The "life must go on" philosophy.

The Jewish mourning process provides a model of what may be one of the healthiest ways of dealing with death. Many psychologists have pointed to this process because it correlates closely with the actual stages of grief.

The Funeral.

Burial takes place using a standard simple coffin. Usually within 24 hours. The mourners - close family members - wear old clothes to the funeral. Clothes are torn before the burial - usually the shirt over the heart. There are no flowers. Male mourners say Kaddish. Mourners are wished a long life. After the funeral the neighbours (or friends and family) provide a meal for the mourners.

Kaddish

Most people have heard of saying Kaddish. Kaddish is a prayer that begins at the funeral and continues at each daily service for 11 months. Written in Aramaic, the words "Yitgadal veYitkadash Sme Raba" translate to "May His Great Name be magnified and Sanctified". There is no reference to death. Allan Ginsberg, a poet of the Beat generation used this for one of his poems. He referred to Kaddish as a mantra. The purpose of Kaddish is in fact to elevate the soul. Kaddish is usually said by sons for a parent. It can only be said in a minyan a quorum of ten Jewish men.

Shiva

We do not try to cheer up or comfort the mourners. They return from the funeral to the house of mourning where they sit "shiva" (seven) for seven days. Mourners sit on low chairs to signify how low they feel. Mirrors and paintings are covered and no music is allowed. Work should be avoided if at all possible. Visitors are not supposed to ask how they are. Mourners are left to experience their grief. Prohibitions include cutting of hair, shaving, and sex. On the seventh day, the mourners should get up and walk away from the house of mourning, signifying the end of this very intense stage of mourning. A 24 hour candle is burnt throughout this period. The flame of the candle represents the soul and the life of the deceased.

Shloshim

Once "shiva" is over, mourning continues for the "shloshim" (thirty). Work is resumed, but cutting of hair, buying new items such as clothes or furniture are not allowed. Entertainment especially music - and visiting others are also not allowed. Gifts should not be presented to mourners, though bringing food is allowed. The "shloshim" ends on the thirtieth day after death.

The Year

For parents, mourning parents continues. For any one else it has now ended. The mourning period for parents continues until a year after death. The mourning restrictions are much less severe, but typically entertainment should be avoided. Mourners may attend a wedding but should avoid the music and dancing.

Memory and acceptance

The death is commemorated every year on the date of death. A 24 hour candle is lit, and Kaddish is said once more. Honouring of parents continues after death. Over the course of the mourning period the grief fades and turns towards acceptance. Acceptance and memory. The Jewish festivals each contain a portion where the dead are remembered. The memory of the deceased is perpetuated by giving charity in their name.

Many people experience a loss and try to carry on with life as normal. Grief is suppressed. Mourning is considered to be out of step with the 21st century. Grief and mourning are a very necessary part of experiencing a loss. It is part of helping us to adjust to the new status quo, to achieve a level of acceptance and to move on

Tips for networking your way to a new job

Finding a new job is not easy. There may be times when specific skills are in short-supply and jobs are there for the taking. But most people get new and sometimes better jobs through people they know. Networking often provides the key. Networking is often the secret ingredient that lands one person that lucrative new job while an equally qualified competitor loses out.

I worked for the same company for twenty years. Although a rare practice in the modern world, I knew the business and the people. For many years a thriving company, a series of poor management decisions led the company's downfall. During this period I had neglected networking. When I was retrenched I found myself alone in the big wide world. Most of my contacts (all from the same company) were in the same boat. Many months and hundreds of job applications passed before I was able to surface. I was short listed for some positions but most applications simply disappeared into a deep black hole. When I did manage to obtain some gainful employment, it was through a friend and ex-colleague.

My friend had taken on an entrepreneurial role and was trying to establish a consulting house. I have worked as a consultant for the last six years on a wide variety of contracts. I must thank my network for introducing me to many of these.

Networking has become a necessity, essentially in a volatile environment. Almost every contract has been as a result of my network, and almost every contract helps me to build my network further. Former colleagues have provided leads and recommendations that have helped to keep me busy.

I read somewhere that most jobs are obtained through someone that you know. Someone known to the employer provides a personal recommendation. The chances of success are much greater than relying on recruitment companies. This may seem unfair, but put yourself in the employer's shoes for a moment. Who would you choose: someone that a trusted colleague can vouch for, or the candidate from the agency. We are generally more comfortable taking on a person recommended by a trusted colleague, business associate or friend. Besides, all is fair in love and war and business.

Some of my contracts (a minority) were obtained through recruitment companies. Contacts established through my various consulting contracts have led to many subsequent contracts. On one occasion, I was short-listed for a position and interviewed by a panel. A member of the panel knew me from a previous company and recommended me highly! That made the difference.

The key to successful networking is to stay in touch with people that you work with at every position. Rather than networking with everyone, I tend to network with people that I enjoyed working with. Many of these people are now friends. Others are friendly contacts. I drop them an occasional line, make the odd call and stay in touch through face book.

Networking sites can also prove valuable. I have joined the business networking site - LinkedIn. I have few contacts there and ensure that these are maintained.

My network is small but always growing. Having started my blogging career recently, I am using blog networks to help get traffic. Using MyBlogLog, I look at other people's sites. When I like the site I add myself to their community and add the blogger as a contact. Visitors to my sites are growing slowly but steadily! Adding myself to the sites is not enough. Interacting with the people achieves much more. And of course the blogs have to be of a high quality.

Social networking sites like Face Book are also useful for building networks.

The point to remember is that people are important not only in our social lives but in business as well. Many people begin their networks while at school. The British Public School networks are well known some would say notorious. "The Old School Tie" often plays a decisive role in getting the best jobs around. I was never a part of that. My network only really began growing since my role became that of an independent consultant.

Befriend as many people as possible at each company that you work for. Get to know the clients and the suppliers as well. Stay in touch after either of you leave.

Building a strong network could assure you of many opportunities and can land you in the pound seats. Most of the jobs that you get in your journey through life will be through people that you know. Make sure that your network grows from strength to strength and don't burn your bridges behind you.

Online gambling: Could you lose everything?

Many people are able to gamble on the odd occasion and leave it at that. Many others get hooked soon after they start - perhaps follows a big win or a series of wins.

If your attempts at gambling have always resulted in losing on experiencing only the occasional small win, then you are unlikely to continue. It is possible to win large amounts of money gambling and this is primarily where gambling becomes dangerous.

Bob (not his real name) walked into a casino for the first time in his life with $200. He played blackjack. He could do nothing wrong and within a few hours had accumulated $20,000.

He was back the next day to win more. Soon the winnings were gone, and he began betting more and more to recoup his losses. He lived at the casino for the next week. Having lost all of his own money, he turned to his father for help. This also ended up at the casino. Bob came from a gambling family. His uncle had lost his entire fortune, his home, his wife and his family. Bob's father recognised the signs and took action.

When on-line gambling becomes compulsive all the same dangers are present. Gambling becomes the primary focus of life. Everything else takes second place.

In the early stages, a gambler is able to win and cash in the money. It doesn't take long before the gambler continues until he has no more access to money. Having lost his entire salary in one sitting, the gambler becomes desperate. He seeks out loans from near and far. These loans are intended to cover the shortfall in living expenses. Instead they are used for gambling.

Home loan and car finance repayments are left unpaid. The gambler desperately tries to avoid creditors. Many have lost everything to gambling. Cars, homes, inheritances are all prey to gambling. Loans from loan sharps lead to worse problems. Some end up homeless.

Many gamblers do lose everything. Most do not recognise that they have a problem until the damage done is irreversible. If you suspect that you are a compulsive gambler, then seek help now.

How to write classified ads that work

The first place to look when seeking a new pet, a second hand car or a rented appartment is the classified ads. The classified ads is an open marketplace that is often the first choice for people wishing to buy and sell a whole range of goods and services. The medium is usually very cost effective and can produce fast results.

Placing a classified ad in the newspaer of your choice is a quick and simple procedure. But responses are not always forthcoming. Before placing your advert think about what you are trying to sell, what makes it appealing and your target audience. Selecting the right publication can make a difference. In some cases a specialist magazine may be the best place to reach the target audience. Think about what it is that makes a classified advert effective. Put yourself in the buyers shoes - where would you look to find a similar item?

Next, decide on your price. What is the item worth to you? Remember that a competitively priced item will attract many more responses than one that seems expensive. Invest a few cents in marketing. $99.95 is much more appealing than $100. Retailers have used this for years for a good reason - it always works!

Some publications have specific days to advertise cars, houses or boats. A little investigation will reveal the answer. Advertise on the right days when the prospective buyers are there. You will pay the same price on any other day, but will reach a smaller audience.

Getting to the advert itself, think about the reader. People tend to skim through the adverts to find the item that they want. The key to success is to provide as much information as possible in a few words. Long classified ads are expensive and don't work.

Start with a catchy title. The title should provide some key words (no, these weren't invented for the Internet!) and appealing information to provide the reader with a reason to stop and read the rest. Examples of titles for home sales include "Inanda. Luxury mansion", "Sydenham - Renovator's Dream", "Berea, Character Home for Immediate Occupation", "Ferndale - Give the kids a chance to romp" or "Sandton bargain - be quick!"

These titles all provide a little information about the house being sold. Something that will appeal to the right buyer.

Staying with homes, the next line should provide information about the accommodation. "3 beds, 2 baths, dream kitchen, open plan living area onto patio, pool, parking for 4 cars" provides the key details. Use descriptive words to add to the appeal - "in park-like setting", "needs a little TLC" or "with spectacular view". Adjective and descriptive phrases can make all the difference.

I hardly ever follow up a classified ad that doesn't have a price, yet many classified adverts miss this key information. Having caught the reader's attention, the price is probably the main decision factor for the reader to make that call. Include the price even if you are open to offers. The abbreviations "neg." (negotiable), "ono" (or nearest offer) or "onco" (or nearest cash offer) indicate that you are willing to negotiate. You can even try the reverse - "best offer over $10 wins".

Closing with a catch phrase such as "must be seen" or "be quick" can be very effective.

Contact details are very important. I have come across many adverts that include a phone number but no name. A name provides an identity of a person. People like to have a person to contact when responding to an advert. A first name will do fine. Don't forget to provide alternative contact details - these can be very useful. A business number, home number and cell number provide a choice. If you are only available after hours then say so. The "ah" abbreviation is well recognised. A second number also provides some insurance against typing errors when your advert is published! Add an email address if you wish but most people prefer the immediacy of a phone call.

Classified ads allow anyone to advertise almost anything. Success rates are high. If you are selling a popular item, then be prepared to have your phone ringing off the hook!

Should good grades be rewarded with cash?

People achieve great things with the right incentives. Children may be able to improve their 'D' grade average to a 'B' or even an 'A' given the right encouragement. Cash incentives can work very well, but there cash for grades has its dangers.

During the 1960s Walter Mischel conducted his famous Marshmallow Experiment. Four year old children were each given a marshmallow. Those that could wait the twenty minutes to eat the marshmallow were given the promised second marshmallow. Some of the children could not wait.

The progress of these children was followed through adolescence. Those with the ability to wait twenty minutes (at the age of four) achieved better long term results than felt compelled to eat the marshmallow right away.

The ability to understand the concept of deferred gratification is what is required for children - and people in general - to achieve success. A colleague completed an accountancy degree, but did not go on to do articles (towards a CA) because of the low starting salary of an articled clerk. With the accounting degree he could start on three times the clerk's salary. Ten years later the picture is very different!

While cash for grades may provide a short-term incentive to work harder, the net effect is to reinforce the expectation of instant gratification against deferred gratification. It may help them to achieve good grades in the short term, but provides a poor life example. Children this rewarded are less likely to achieve a long term view that will provide them with a more secure future. Their orientation is likely to be grounded very much in the short term.

Children that are under-achieving at school could benefit from cash for grades. As they lack a long term view, the cash can provide a real incentive to work and to achieve. There could be a steady improvement in their grades over the years. Getting into the working habit has its own benefits. Achieving better grades has a spin-off effect of improving self-esteem.

Implementing a cash for grades scheme should be approached incrementally and with caution. Begin with a short term reward basis - e.g. per month or semester - gradually increasing the period to a year before the next cash incentive. This could help the child to achieve a more long term view.

But what happens when the cash runs out? Are we back to square one? Are the higher grades that gained them admission to a college enough? Will the young adult now be able to perform in an academic environment without frequent rewards? These are some of the questions that must be asked before embarking on such a scheme.

Rather than paying for results, parents should be assisting the child in achieving a long term view. They need to play a supportive role and discuss issues with their children. If the parents provide a stimulating environment and are working towards goals the children will probably follow. Example is the best way to lead.

Providing cash for grades may work in the short term, but it may sabotage children's ability to understand and cope with the concept of deferred gratification. The idea that better rewards can be achieved by waiting. Skills that are central to achieving success in life.

7 good reasons to leave your current job

Recognising the right time to leave a current job is an important aspect of career management. The reasons for leaving are many and varied. It is sometimes preferable to stay with an unsatisfactory job than to be without anything. But there are times when a move is the best, perhaps the only viable option. Below are the top seven reasons - in no particular order - to leave a current job.

1. You do not fit into the organisation's culture.

Every company has its own particular culture. There are companies that run on orders from the the top while others favour employees that make their own decisions. Do you fit into the culture? Does the culture work for you and are you able to progress in your career? Many people are quite happy to be told what to do and how to do it and feel out of their depth if expected to make decisions. Others find this environment difficult to manage, and would be better of seeking an alternative job where they feel that they could make a positive contribution.

2. Conflict between you and the boss.

When every encounter with the boss is an unpleasant experience then it is time to move on. Often a conflict seems to develop between the boss and the employee. The employee feels undermined and his/her self-esteem takes a knock. This is a very definite no-win situation. As the self-esteem is destroyed, work-performance deteriorates. If you find yourself in that situation the best option is to leave and the sooner the better. In extreme cases people leave without an alternative job. While this is risky, the longer term result is often one that is more favourable.

3. You hate your work!

You always wanted to be a professional musician but were pressurised by family into going into business. You have not followed your dreams but are desperately unhappy doing what you are currently doing. This is a difficult situation, and requires some brutally honest self assessment. Are you good enough to succeed in the job of your dreams? People are usually successful when they are passionate about what they do. Are you passionate enough? Perhaps you could begin exploring your dream on a part time basis and find out where it leads.

4. You need to be independent.

Some of us are fiercely independent. We will never be happy working for a boss. We want to achieve something on our own, something that is ours and something where the rewards are greater. Starting your own business can be an excellent reason for leaving your job. Do you have an area of expertise that you can turn into profit? Is there something that you would enjoy doing seven days a week until the business has been built up? Do you have the drive to market your business to build up the customer base that it needs?

5. Your career development has come to a halt.

Your first 6 years at the company were exciting time. Beginning at a junior level, you were received frequent promotions. Your status rapidly improved. But followed the latest restructuring exercise you feel left out. Other colleagues have taken the cream jobs and opportunities for promotion are scarce. The time has come to look around and find something new. The early recognition that you received has gone, and you have lost your motivation. It is time to find a new challenge, one that will allow you to grow and develop more.

6. You have lost a political battle.

Work is often about politics. Once you have lost a major political battle at work you are unlikely to recover. Lick your wounds and move on. A new environment may be just what the doctor ordered.

7. You have become part of the furniture.

No-one notices you. Your work is taken for granted. You are "comfortable" where you are, but going nowhere fast. The time to move has passed, yet perhaps is the only choice! Find an alternative.